I’ve been reflecting on the importance of playing with my child lately. Despite my confidence in interacting with kids, I’ve struggled to connect with my son during playtime. As he grows more independent, I’ve realized the need to strengthen our bond, particularly when we’re alone.
We are at an exciting stage where his individuality is showing up. So, now that we’re here, I’ve been wondering how we can connect since it’s the two of us most of the time. We both thrive and come together nicely when we have playdates, but when it’s just the two of us, sometimes it feels more forced than I’d like to admit.
I’ve always prided myself on being good with kids, so it’s surprising that this topic has become a deep-dive search for me. How do I not know how to play with my child?
I mean, he’s a kid; let’s play.
Acknowledge what your child craves, so that you can recognize them in all the ways that are meaningful to them, not just to you. Do not simply give them what you wish to give, but rather give them, within reason, what they wishes to receive. Respond in their love language.
Janice Johnson Dias, PhD
In this process, I’ve learned to let go of the pressure of knowing precisely what to do. I’ve acknowledged that it’s okay not to have all the answers, and it doesn’t diminish my role as a mother. A friend recently reminded me that my dedication to improving our relationship through research is a significant effort deserving of recognition. Parenting demands deliberate attention to both major and minor aspects, and it’s essential to celebrate all efforts.
I’ve consciously tried to avoid pretending during playtime, as it diminishes the genuine joy we should experience together. I aim to share my authentic laughter and enthusiasm with my son, fostering a deeper connection. I’ve also recognized the value of embracing my inner child, allowing my son to guide our play. It’s a learning experience for me, as our playtime today differs from my childhood memories.
Amidst this journey, I’ve discovered activities that genuinely bring us joy:
- Solving puzzles
- Engaging in word searches
- Going on nature walks
- Playing games like “I Spy”
- Occasionally delving into crafts
- Enjoying water-based activities
- Exploring photography (with my son being a bit camera-shy)
- Having impromptu dance parties
The role of a mother carries a significant responsibility, and it often requires going beyond our comfort zones to connect authentically with our children. Remember, there’s no formula for perfect motherhood, and your efforts to spend quality time with your child are invaluable. Whether it’s researching recipes to incorporate more vegetables into meals or exploring new interests with your child, every additional step you take to be intentional is commendable.
From mother to mother, I see you and am incredibly proud of you.
