I don’t know if this saying felt like it was echoed during your pregnancy, but it was on auto-repeat during mine. “Enjoy it now because once the baby gets here, it’s no longer about you.” This saying didn’t bother me much. The thought of an extension of my family tree coming from my body was beautiful. Until years later, I started fighting the internal battle of my individuality. People shared lots of advice in preparation for having a child. It was advice like “sleep when the baby sleeps,” but nowhere in my memory bank was it shared that you might feel lost in yourself years later. For example, when you show up without your child or spouse, and everyone asks where they are, it can make you feel invisible. Talk about internal work in the making. But honestly, it’s been years, and I see how I’ve poured so much into my family that being alone feels awkward. However, I also know I was a whole human before becoming a mom. I don’t want to return to my life. But as significant as it is that I’m mindful of my son’s individuality, I must look into mine as well.
It’s like something as silly as, How do I take a picture alone? I could strike a pose in a heartbeat before having a baby, but now, without my little one, I don’t know what to do with my hands, let alone my body.
The fight to remember YOU is challenging, but it’s so crucial. Your little one must get to see you as a mom and as a woman in all your flourishing ways.
The title is golden, but it isn’t meant to swallow you whole; it’s meant to be an extension of God’s love and plant His extension into the earth. We can only do that by living out all He’s called us to be.
Morning Glory Walk, 2024
So the next time someone says it’s no longer about you, I want to remind you that it will forever be about you, and part of you is your child, but they are not all of you. I see you, mama.
