I never thought in my new title of mommy, an area I’d struggle would be friendship. When I say friendship, I don’t mean those “happy birthdays” sprinkled with a few “just checking on you” text messages. I mean those real “how are you really doing” phone calls and visits. During one of the most exciting times in my life, this ended up being one of the loneliest. I was trying to figure out my new rhythm, which no longer consists of happy hours and staying out late. I wanted a community to lean on where we could laugh at ourselves as we figure motherhood out.
If I’m being completely honest, making friends as an adult isn’t as easy as It was when I was a kid. I’ve tried sparking up conversations with women via social media but It only left me feeling awkward and desperate. During this transition I started to see a therapist which against my initial reservation ended up being the best thing I could have done. However, when the topic of friendship came up with my therapist, I expressed how I was lacking in that department. My therapist suggested that I start attending “mommy and me” classes. In the attempt to find these classes I came across the Peanut App. I was super excited because it seemed to be just what I was looking for. The Peanut App was a forum for women to share experiences about being a mother and the tips that helped them along the way. I found myself on there talking to a few people and it did help. but The one thing I continued to encounter was a lot of starting of conversations and that would fizzle out. I wanted to meet other moms who shared the same lack of common friendship now that their life goals had shifted. Being a stay at home mom, I was trying to get OUT of the house. I wanted playdates for Asher as well as for myself. I also began to get very intentional when it came to my prayers and expressing to God what I wanted.
After some time, I connected with a lady I met on the app and we seem to have a lot in common. She wasn’t from Houston so she seem to be more open to hanging out. Although, Asher was younger than her daughters, she was also a stay at home mom and the struggles of motherhood still seem to be fresh, so we were able to swap stories and tips. My life before Asher I had no idea of all the baby friendly places, but now having someone to actually explore the city with made me step out of my comfort zone and explore. I don’t know what it is about Target, but that place along with whatever random mommy errands we had for the day became a hang outs for us. It’s important to socialize and have someone that can relate to the “new you plus one”. Sometimes it’s simply about not feeling so isolated in the world. The new silence that comes with a baby can be loud. So learning to be honest with needing a community is something I’m learning is not something to be ashamed of. Walking in your truth is the only way we can really grow. After all we are built for community.
Genesis 28:3 NIV May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples.
