I have jokingly said since having a child, “I am no longer introduced as myself; I am his mother.” This became my “go-to phase,” but I recently noticed how much it bothered me.

Since his birth, when anyone calls, they ask how my son is, and when he’s not with me, they ask where he is. I love the care and concern; however, when I noticed a friend never asked me the questions everyone else did, I wondered why. They shared that “I was calling to check on you. I know everything is well with him, or you would say something.”


It was then that, although it felt selfish to admit, wanting someone to check in on me felt nice. That’s something that, until that point, I couldn’t remember the last time someone had just checked on me.

A new extension of myself has happened over the years in different layers. I noticed how that joke chipped a piece of my identity every time I said it. Because slowly, I needed to remember the simple things I liked and even stopped questioning stuff I didn’t like.

Talk about autopilot on full blast.


It’s become work to slow down and ask myself simple questions, like “What do I want, and what was the highlight of my day” and my go-to, NOT always being something my son did. I must remind myself that he is my sonshine, but I can still be my own highlight sometimes, which is okay. 

I sit with myself and ask questions like, “What makes ME happy?”

It’s not selfish; it’s healthy, and I hope this will show my son strength in his individuality because that’s all the introduction he will need. 

What was the highlight of your day? 

Share in the comments below.

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