As the lack of humanity continues to unfold in front of my eyes, my heart is filled with so many different emotions. From rage to despair and many others in-between. Even though George Floyd wasn’t my blood brother, he represented so many things that unfortunately lead to yet another hashtag. Another black man being killed by the very people we are told are sworn to protect us. I normally am disconnected from the news and this has allowed me to live in my own bubble. Even though at times its easier for my own peace of mind, this time my bubble was popped. Raising a son, a black son, I have to get from under a rock. His life depends on my awareness.
Fear has played such a major roll in all of this. FEAR : False Evidence Appearing Real. Even I am guilty of it. Fear of saying the wrong thing, so instead I shrink and say nothing. I even found myself trying to quickly post on social media because I feared that my silence would be perceived as if I didn’t care. But I was reminded that it is not about me, it is not about the post or lack of. We all can make a difference and it might not all look the same. It is doing your part with the gift God has equipped you with.
1 Corinthians 12: 12 NIV Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.
When we bought our house Joeseph made a comment about how he has the ownership papers on him at all times. With a chuckle he said because I’m waiting for the day that someone makes me have to prove that this is our house, and that we own our home. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now those words sit with me differently. Now I wonder, will that ever actually happen? We’ve had conversations about this, and now being in a new neighborhood certain things we noticed before such as symbolic signs in yards or flags flown stand out differently now. I will also state, recently driving by some, not all but some of those same houses, signs and symbols have since been taken down. It is never too late for change. It is just sad it took another hashtag.
I find myself asking why are people so fearful of blackness? I am reminded of words shared by our pastor, it’s because of the power they see in us. But then, I ask myself, do we see that power? And with that power, what are we going to do about it? Better yet… what am I going to do about it?
History is taking place right now. My son, when you are older I refuse to tell you all these stories about how those around us did all of these things to help improve your future and have you look at me and wonder, what did you do mommy?
I honestly still don’t know what the answer to this question will be, but I think it starts with opening up to being able to actually have conversations.
Conversations that will make us uncomfortable, but in the end will bring us closer together. At the end of the day we all just want love and to make it home safe to our families. Now as actions are being taken, I pray that there is so much change that when we do discuss it with our son this will be in past tense.
1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV And now these three remain; faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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Absolutely loved the read!!